Types of People Online

This is by no means a comprehensive list. More will be in later posts.

-The Nosy One: This person reads everything, and wants to know more. They also ask more questions than you are comfortable answering.

-The Silent Creeper: You don't actually know how many of these you know because they never comment, or otherwise notify you, but they always know what is going on with you. These are the one's that are the most surprising to run into at the grocery store because they want updates... or they just inform you that they've been stalking you online. 

-The Grammar Cop: the one who is always correcting people. Generally, they are correct. Other times... not so much.

-The Wounded One: this one is the person who always seems to be just getting over a breakup. You never know who they were dating, or for how long, but gosh darn it! You will remember their heartbreak.

-The Parent: this is actually a parent. I have heard Pros and Cons to both sides of being FB friends with your parents, and I am still undecided on the whole issue. There is no general rule that applies to everyone. Everything and everyone is an exception.

-The Mr. Collins: (This delineation will amuse Jane Austen fans more than the average person.) This is that person who just can't take a hint that you don't want to talk to them, or even have anything to do with them. Defriending is a start, but this person will send you a new request, under the assumption that it was some odd glitch that you no longer are linked online. Feel free to ignore them.

-The Giver of Advice: what I am pretending to do right now. These people can give good, or bad advice (or a combination of both.) Usually, it's up to you to figure out which is which.

-The Literal One: No figurative language allowed. Don't say "I'm so mad; I could kill someone" when you simply mean that you're frustrated. They may call the cops.

-The Turtle: These are the people that always seem to find out about things long after they happen. (I consider myself to be one of these.) 

-The Paragrapher: All status updates are at least a paragraph long. Most of the time, they really aren't anything interesting. At all.

-The Awk: This is the person who can make you log off your computer simply because you don't know what else to do. All it takes is one remark, or them simply appearing in your sidebar, and the situation becomes more awkward than you know what to do with.

-The Speed demon: This is the person who types all their responses so fast thatyoudon'thavetimetorespondquickenough! Can be highly annoying because by the time you come up with a response, they've changed topics.