How do you tell a dear friend that you are afraid they are making a mistake? When your entire being wants to scream, cry, and smack them upside the head; beg them to reconsider. But instead of doing that, you breathe, and pray, and because you love them, you tread carefully. What's worse, telling someone they're going to get hurt and risking them telling you to take a leap, or keeping silent, when you know that the results aren't going to be pretty?

 

Part of me wants to scream "Why did you bring me into this??? Did you tell me because you valued my opinion, needed input, or a friend who would keep their mouth shut?" No matter what the motivation was/is, now I feel responsible. I have no idea if I am or not, but I really to feel that way. And even if I'm not, which I'm not so sure I'm not, I think I will always feel somewhat responsible. I can't help it. I feel like I have a stake in this now, especially if it turns out badly. Shouldn't I have said something?

 

It isn't a black and white situation, and they are looking at it like it is. There is so much grey that is getting ignored, and it scares me. We live in this grey area, and when we start making decisions that are contingent on existing in black or white only, we will ALWAYS run into trouble. There isn't any physical danger in the imminent future, but mental... I'm not sure. I know I am missing bits and pieces, but knowing what I do, I can form an opinion. My opinion is, barring unforeseen circumstances and changes in this situation, there is going to be much pain in the future. This isn't wishful thinking, or me being spiteful that they have made this decision. This is me drawing conclusions, based on how well I know this individual and out of serious concern for them. All that being said, I am fully aware that I cannot say anything, so I will keep quiet, pray I am wrong, paranoid, and overreacting, and be there for them if and when something goes wrong; very rarely in my life have I wanted so badly to be so wrong.

Dieting Under Stress

My mother found this gem in a filing cabinet. The author's name is 3/4 copied off the page, but it's hysterical. Whoever you are, thank you.

"This diet is designed to help you cope with the stress that builds up during the day.

Breakfast                                                                      
1/2 grapefruit                                                                
1 slice whole wheat toast, dry
8 oz. skim milk

Lunch
4 oz lean broiled chicken breast
1 cup steamed spinach
1 cup herb tea
1 Oreo cookie

Mid-Afternoon Snack
Rest of the Oreos in the package
2 pints rocky road ice cream
1 jar hot fudge sauce
nuts, cherries, whipped cream

Dinner
2 loaves garlic bread with cheese
large sausage, mushroom, and cheese pizza
4 cans or 1 large pitcher of soda
3 Milky Way or Snickers candy bars

Rules for This Diet

1. If you eat something and no one sees you eat it, it has no calories.

2. If you drink a diet soda with a candy bar, the calories in the candy bar are cancelled by the diet soda.

3. When you eat with someone else, calories don't count eat more than they do.

4. Food used for medicinal purposes NEVER counts, such as hot chocolate, brandy, toast, and Sara Lee cheesecake.

5. If you fatten up everyone else around you, then you look thinner.

6. Movie related foods do not have additional calories because they are part of the entire entertainment package and not part of one's personal fuel, such as Milk Duds, buttered popcorn, Junior Mints, Red Hots, and Tootsie Rolls.

7. Cookie pieces contain no calories. The process of breaking causes calorie leakage.

8. Things licked off knives and spoons have no calories if you are in the process of preparing something. Examples: peanut butter on a knife making a sandwich and ice cream on a spoon making a sundae.

9. Foods that have the same color have the same number of calories. Examples are spinach and pistachio ice cream, mushrooms and white chocolate, etc. NOTE: Chocolate is a universal color and may be substituted for any other food color."

Use a Tissue! Please?

Here's a question: What is with our ability to isolate ourselves from the world? This sounds far deeper than what I'm really asking, so I'll try again. How do we get so stuck on ourselves, that we forget that other people can see/ hear us? You see it in cars, in the cubicle at work, in the coffee shop, in the library, etc. We seem to be so lulled into complacency by silence that we forget that we aren't invisible, even if we feel that way. I am talking about picking your nose, randomly bursting into song (I'm guilty of this one. No, we are not on Glee...) scratching yourself in places you should wait on, and picking your nose! (That one is so gross, I feel the need to mention it twice.) This is not an exhaustive list by any means, but these are the ones I've seen recently. Forget professionalism here for a moment. Is is really so easy to be so ignorant of your surroundings that you do anything that you feel the need to, at the moment the whim hits you? I hope I never lose my self-awareness to the point that I start picking my nose sans tissue and manners in a public place.

Oh boy...

So, I decided to join eHarmony. Let's just get a few things straight. 
1. It isn't as expensive as people say it is (I subscribed for $13.00 a month.) 2. The opening questionnaire, the one you take when you're setting up an account, isn't as bad as you hear.
3. Overwhelmingly you will hear the negative reviews if you google the question "Is eHarmony worth the money?" You will get: Too expensive. Bad matches. No matches. Bad system. Wrong system. Complicated system. People are too nosy. The communication system is unnecessary. Hated it. Stupid, etc.

    Rubbish. eHarmony promotes itself as a different approach to online dating. Naturally it isn't going to be like all the other sites. Duh it's going to be unfamiliar. Also, most dating sites go through some system to figure out what you are looking for. This one looks at you, and find people who are compatible to you. I find it interesting that you can set parameters (age, geography, etc) but the main information for your matches comes from the information about yourself. Not what you think you're looking for. Not all dating sites work for everyone, much in the same way that not everyone meets their partner at college, or a bar. Relax people, and quit whining. You're annoying me.

   As I have begun this process, which is incredibly odd, but strangely relaxing for someone who has never tried online dating before, I have started to come up with a list of things that I need to remember as I continue to learn how this actually works.

1. Not everyone will want to be my friend.

2. I am not compatible with everyone who shows up in my match categories.

3. I am allowed to be picky.

4. I reserve the right to not share something I am not ready to.

5. This actually is about me, so I can chose not to go forward if something doesn't seem right.

6. I deserve to be answered.

7. They don't actually know me.

8. They have just as many options as I do.

9. I am not beholden to them just because they're interested, and vice-versa.

10. I don't have to alter my responses just to try to get them to like me.

    The last one is epically hard for me. I am a people pleaser. I always have been, and I have realized that I find myself constantly trying to figure out what the other person is thinking of me. I'm always asking myself, how can I make myself seem the most appealing to them. This seems so silly. If someone cannot accept me with my bugaboos, and my flaws, then why should I be with them anyway? I am myself. I have found myself hiding parts that I think they won't like. I have odd habits, and I have things that are very important to me. I have hidden these things because somehow I think they will be displeasing to my partner, which is dumb because then I feel trapped. It should also be noted, it's also hard to hide parts of yourself for long periods of time. I'm not even giving the men a fair chance. How do I know they wouldn't like the fact that I skip the gym every once and awhile? That my sweet spot for chocolate and books has nothing to do with my hormone levels? That I'm terrified that I won't be able to pay off my student loans? That I am quite ridiculous on a regular basis? That I can command the attention of a large group of people if I want to? That I prefer being alone to recharge? That I can, in fact, ballroom dance?

    I suppose part of the reason I have done this is all my relationships have been with someone that I don't see on a daily basis, or even weekly. Two were with men that I rarely saw at all. It was all online, text, and phone calling. This allowed me the luxury of creating the girl that I thought they would want to be with. The problem with this is... I'm not her, or she's not me. She's part of me to be sure. I would take the characteristics that they admired, or appreciated, and amplify them. The one's that they looked down on, I stuffed. I am a passionate person. I don't do things halfway. When I'm committed to something, I'm all there, which makes it that much more devastating when you find out that they are not on the same page you are, or that they were playing you. Either sucks.

    Online profiles allow you to create the person you want people to see. In a way, you can be whoever you want. Honesty is the best way to go, but it doesn't work terribly well if you a.) are delusional about who you really are, b.) what you want, and what you need are two different things. In a way, this feels like a grand social experiment (that tells you how highly I think of myself...) I am using a different medium to meet people that I normally would have no real way of connecting with. I have no idea if this is even going to find me a significant other, or if it's just going to expand my social circle immensely. Either way, it's definitely going to be interesting.

Sorry. I don't work for you.

    There comes a point in which you have to ask yourself: Where is my line between enabling this person, and trying to create a sense of peace in my daily workspace? This is something I am struggling with right now. When you have to constantly deal with someone who will not bend, you reach a point where it's simply easier to cave into their demands than to stand up to them. In doing so, you are at risk for losing a sense of respect for yourself, amongst other things. You also wind up stuffing how you really feel because to tick them off would not turn out well for you. However, as soon as you decided to just close your mouth, and do what they say, you're stuck. They soon expect you to do more things. Naturally they expected it before, but with nothing to support it. Now they have proof: Whine/demand/guilt-trip/pressure you enough, and you will do it. Dang it. Now I'm not saying that peace isn't important, but temporary peace isn't worth a sacrifice of self respect, or your sanity. How do we know this? Because the peace will not last. They will demand more of your time, effort, and brain, and it will never be good enough. It's the definition of a no-win situation coupled with a downhill slide that will feel very out of control.

    That being said, it's also extremely tiring to try to deflect people constantly. It's like dealing with a two year old who doesn't know the meaning of the word no, except they are an adult who simply thinks that the word "no" should never be applied to them. Ever. That, and they know more words than a two year old, but not necessarily bigger ones. Extra annoyance points will be awarded for this person being higher in the pecking order than you, but catering to their every whim is not in your job description. Entitlement is a serious issue, and it is rampant. It isn't just gen Y. It's everyone who has never had someone put down their foot, and say "no, I don't have to do that just because you think I should." Half the time, I am scared of this person. The other half alternates between annoyed, and ambivalent. Obviously they don't deserve the rent space in my head that it takes for me to be annoyed, but I think it only becomes a problem if you dwell on it. When you're trying to deal with this, you have to walk a fine line between ignoring them, and being disrespectful. Unfortunately, they will often confuse and switch around the two, so that you can't win either way. The funny thing is, if you put your foot down, they most likely won't go tattling to upper management. Why? Upper management is most likely going to have your back. If you are uncertain of this, I suggest the following conversation with a manager, or the next person up the totem pole. "I know you're busy, but I need your help with something. I need some suggestions on what to say to so and so when they're after me to do ___________. I know I can help them out sometimes, but I don't have time to do it for them all the time, and when I tell them I'm busy, they get upset. (You may need to quote an example here.) I don't want to alienate them, or upset them; I just don't want them to treat me like their secretary. What approach would you suggest I use next time I encounter this?" It's called being proactive, and you may be surprised by the results.

    Here is my philosophy on this: I will help if you need it, but don't expect me to drop everything to work on your problem when I have seven others that came first, especially if the reason you have a problem is a direct result of poor planning. That is never my problem, and no, you cannot make it my problem. No you cannot bribe me. I refuse to take your monkey from you; I have enough of my own to deal with. Now go away.

A day in Haiku:

Do it like I said.
Because that is the right way.
Except for sometimes.

Things I learned, and want all the munchkins on FB to know NOW!

I was on Facebook when it first started to be used by high-school students. I was keeping in touch with people from speech meets (I know, I know...) Here are some things I have observed, and information I am willing to bestow on the very young people who have found their way onto Facebook now, as someone who has moved on into "young adulthood." (Just for the record, I am very aware of how condescending that sounds. Sorry about that.)

- Those long convos that you like to have on wall posts, and pictures, yeah, they aren't so cool when you graduate from college. I know it's a social norm, and a very important part of your communication, much like texting is and IMing was, but it really is annoying to everyone not involved in the conversation. 

- Don't typ lik dis. No kool. NOT CUTE. Not smart.

- I know most people have gotten better, but please watch the privacy settings! Double check every new album, picture, and status update, unless of course you want to share everything with the world. If that is your goal in life, to do away with all sense of privacy (and attempt to create your own land of celebrity as it were) who am I to say boo?

- Not everyone needs to be your friend. They are not Pokemon. We don't need to catch them all.

- Everyone can see everything you post on your wall, and the more comments, the more popular and the more flags it gets. Don't have dumb arguments on your wall. It's the equivalent of standing in the middle of the school hallway and hollering. Very mature.

- Not all of those pictures of you and your friends making those silly faces are going to make you proud. Ditto for the selfies that are running rampant even more so thanks to Instagram... We know what you look like, and so do all your classmates. Relax. I'm not saying stop it all, but we don't need four new ones per day...

- It is okay to wait to post your relationship status until you know it will last more than 2 weeks. 

- It's okay to keep secrets. By that, I mean, we don't need to know everything about you or all your friends. 

- Staying that socially connected, all the time, is not necessarily a good thing. You can (and should) exist away from everyone sometimes. You will not be in touch with all of these people for the rest of your life. Stick with the ones that are good for you and your happiness. 

- Having a transcript of your teen years isn't the most important thing you will use Facebook for. I now view it as an unhappy byproduct of staying in touch with people who entertain me.

- Don't use it to attack other people. What goes around, comes around, and no, you are not invincible. Online bullying is everywhere, and you can just as easily become a target as the kid you're calling an moron.

- Mostly, know that high school is not the end. These are not the best years of your life. Those are still to come. Anyone who says otherwise is either lying, or jealous of where you're headed.

Sometimes we all need a reminder that a pointy stick is not a socially acceptable way to deal with an annoying individual, no matter how much others may cheer you on in the moment. So, how are we supposed to deal with them?

Listen to them? Nope. You'll want to pull your ears off after a bit. 

Ignore them? Not under threat of pain. When you decide to ignore them, then they will say something you need to know. When you don't know it, it's your butt in the wringer. 

Patronize them? No. Then they will think you care.

Sic' em on someone else? Not a bad idea, especially if you have two annoying individuals...

Filter through their fluff statements and grab what you need? Most definitely.

Give them special privileges because it's the only way to make them leave? Never. Ever.

The problem with trying to come up with a plan of attack it that there isn't just one kind of annoying (see previous post.) Every single person is a different kind of annoying, and needs a different approach, not including the pointy stick. I'm rather inclined to think that most of these people are not worth that much effort. Protect your sanity, and let everyone else worry about the twits.

Kinds of Annoying People ~Work Edition~

*Disclaimer: these are the kinds of people that could be seen as annoying by an independent worker somewhere in the middle of the power structure of a work environment that changes atmosphere more often than an amoeba changes shape.*


Over My Head- goes over your head, behind your back, and around the entirety of everyone to get to what they think should be done the way they think it should. Usually involves bypassing the chain of command, and ignoring protocol. Extra points if they get away with it because they've been there the longest, sell the most, or are just sneaky enough to get away with it.

Sympathy Fisher- will say anything to elicit a response; Woe oh woe!

Second Guesses- double checks everything you do. Is sure that you didn't/won't do it right. We aren't terribly sure why they feel the need to double check everything (insecurity, trust issues, etc,) but it doesn't do much to your ego to be reminded that their confidence in your abilities is almost zilch.

The Underminer- For reasons best known to them, they sabotage/ dig holes into everything you do.

The Manipulator- is particularly annoying if you know they're a manipulator and don't fall for it. They will most likely keep trying with great effort. Can be good entertainment, but only in small doses.

The Buck-Passer- passes everything off on everyone else; can call it "delegating." It's not. It is also close to a guarantee that they will still take credit for the finished product. 

Oh-My-Life!- You hear everything, and all the drama in their little world. Bonus points if they share with customers (see unprofessional.)

But I need it NOW!- and put everything else you're doing on hold because I said so; no please or thank you, and why isn't that done yet? (which of course it should be because your life revolves around making them happy...)

The Explainer- Tells you how to do things you already know how to do. Repeatedly.

Why are you here?- That one person that you have no idea how they got hired and are keeping their job.

The Loud One- You can hear them no matter where they are in the building. You are also very aware of all their opinions regarding anything and everything. No, no one actually cares.

The Gossip- No explanation needed.

*Warning* Emotional Rant

   What do you do when you trip and bruise your ego? How do you stop feeling pathetic after that person who hurt you doesn't seem to miss you quite as much as you wish they did? I think our first instinct(s) can be "I want them back and I'll do anything," "I never want to hear from them again," "or "I want them to miss me, and miss me big." Most of the time, it's a combination of the above. It's rough when it doesn't turn out the way you wanted it to; when they seem to be doing much better than you wished. It's petty I know, but it's also true. We want to be reminded that we are not alone in our little corner of suffering.
   
   Revenge is a powerful motivator, and I would be lying if I said I'm not feeling it right now. I hurt, and my hurting makes me want them to hurt too. I don't want to be alone in the way that I feel, but it doesn't do a whole bunch when you have no idea what's going on in their head. Do they regret it? Do they even feel bad? Are they sorry? That text message of "I miss you," can do more to bolster your ego than anyone really wants to admit. Whether we want them back, or no burning fire of hell could convince us, there is a certain power that comes from that knowledge. I know that my feeling this way has to do with my wish for control and not having it. It sounds stereotypical and silly. I know that, but I can't help it. I feel like screaming "don't you miss me?!? Did I mean so little to you that you let me go with such apparent little thought? Why can't you apologize, and no, things can't go back to the way they were. We're past that!"
  
   I have realized that every single relationship I've been in, I've been waiting. Waiting for them to finish something; to accomplish something. I have sat in the background every time being a cheerleader; understanding, supportive, and more than a little passive. I put my needs last because "they can't handle it right now," and if I tell them it's important, I know it'll get ignored. Someone did try a little to make me a priority, but when the deadline came up, he told me he couldn't continue. He had plans, and they didn't include me. Come to think of it, all of them had plans that didn't include me. They accomplish something, and decide they don't need me anymore. That's really hard. When you invest in someone because you care, it hurts to get that thrown back into your face. I'm learning that I'm not as resilient as I'd like to think I am. As someone who tries to be self-reliant, it's a bitter pill to swallow that I am hurt so easily. I don't do things halfway. I jump in with both feet, so by the time I realize that the water isn't safe, I'm already past the point where I can protect my heart. I'm not sure if this is a flaw, or a strength... or perhaps it's both?

Skanky Halloween Costumes: WHAT???

    This post is late. It was going to go up right after Halloween, but obviously that didn't happen. Better late than never.
   I went to the costume section this year. I needed wings. I could get into how cheap costumes are being made now, but that's a different rant about quality control. I'm more concerned about the amount of skin women, and yes now young girls are being forced to show. Oh crap.
    Halloween used to be about creativity; what your friends, parents, or sibling could pull out of the magic of someone's closet, and create a character to help you rake in the candy. Even now, as an adult, I love Halloween. What other day of the year can you wear feather wings, feathers in your hair, and a mask, and no one raises an eyebrow except to confirm that you are indeed, a bird.
    The sexualization of women everywhere. Yes, you can roll your eyes. "She's one of them!" but I challenge you to find me a Halloween costume for a woman that isn't showing at least 3/4 of her legs, or doesn't have the model on the package giving you a "come hither" glance. That is going to be a very small pile. Even little girl's costumes are overtly sexy. Why? Do they sell better? No clue, but seeing as they are the only options available, duh! And it isn't a valid measure anyway if that's the only variable.
    As for practical, I live in MN. These costumes do not cut it. At all. Halloween around here does not lend itself to warm weather, and as a result, most costumes are REALLY uncomfortable. Granted once you get to the party place, you would probably be fine, but walking there can be really awful. You can't move very easily in most of these costumes, so what good is that? No party games? LAME! 
    It's not fair that we ladies are being expected to fit into a small box of appearances. If we want to dress sexy for Halloween, great! It's actually the one day of the year that normal girls can dress like sluts and not get judged for it (as much...) But let's give the world some options shall we? and I mean, good options. Maybe I want to be a mime, or a really awesome zombie (because... well.. pub crawls!) but someone decided that the mime's outfit is going to be tight and short. She might be a really good mime, but we won't know because she is trapped in this little bitty costume. Serious loss here people.

Romance(?) novels. Oh what have I done with my time...?

   So I've been reading romance novels. Don't judge me. The main thing I have taken away from them, aside from a cornucopia of atrociously awful adjectives, poorly used, over-used, or incorrectly used, is how every single one is the same, especially if we are talking about the historical romance. 

-Woman is spunky (or charming, innocent, well mannered/poorly mannered, chaste, insecure, a pawn in some game, smarter than she should be, or she has a plan; she may be any combination of the above characteristics.)
-Man is dark and brooding... why do you want your man to brood anyway? (or he's damaged in some way, but above all else, he is noble. He may be a brute, but he's a noble brute.)
-Man meets woman and is stunned by her beauty (We begin to hear about loins and much arrested passion here. Man knows he must not touch woman, but she's so enticing, or her hair or something else...) 
-Woman is pissed off by something about man. He represents something she doesn't like. Here we see many a sharp conversation between the two. Man is intrigued by the woman with the sassy tongue who knows her mind. (Oh my word, she has a brain people!)
-Insert much internal conflict HERE!!!
-Man and woman kiss! Oh my word! PASSION!!!! Brains explode, and chests start heaving. All of a sudden one or both "come(s) to their senses" and pushes the other away! "We shouldn't be doing this!"
-Much regret on both sides, but can either one stop thinking about that kiss? No....
-Yada yada yada things get complicated.
-They decide they're going to be together, or they're forced to get married, or he decides she's his bride, or something.
-More heaving chests.
-The main conflict arrives and is solved with much drama!
-Story ends with man and woman being very happy they are together. FOREVER. 
~The End~

   Into this general plot we can interchange family troubles, clan troubles, murder, intrigue, power struggles between every single character, angst, war, conflict of interests (bonus if it's man and woman,) death, and someone who has it out for one or both of the main characters.

Thus ends my study on romance novels. I should write a book...

What is happening to formals???

   I really hope whoever said "less is more" wasn't thinking about formal dresses. I suppose literally, yes it's true here. Less fabric = more skin. They're everywhere, and that's part of what makes it so difficult. You can't find a dress that is longer than mid-thigh if you're lucky. These dresses are uncomfortable. You can barely move for fear of exposing all your secrets to the world. Busting moves is not an option. They're itchy, not made for women with curves (no bra, really?) and they cost an arm and a leg, give or take a toe. Glitter is on most of them. This glitter will get everywhere. Ironic they call it the herpes of craft supplies... Oh yes and another thing, if the dress has any poofy stuff, short or long, going to the ladies room is going to be an adventure that is completely inconvenient.
   Thankfully, I'm past that stage, but I can't help but feel sorry for the girls that have a dress code (either self-imposed, or by higher powers) and 95% of the options out there will not fit it. Bonus points for the ugly sack dresses that are much more covering, and OH so much more ugly... I don't understand at all, and I despair for the fashion industry. I think it's gonna get worse... Dang it.

More Types of People You Know

The Social Navigator: The one who knows everything about everyone. The information is usually accurate, but if you ask about someone, be warned that bit of information is added to the memory bank. Frieda will probably find out in the not too distant future that you asked about her.

The Nozall: The one who knows everything; about anything- or at the very least, they think they do and aren't shy about telling the world. They are best at giving unsolicited opinions at the most inconvenient times.

The OhIKnow! "Oh I know exactly what you're saying! When that happened to me ____." Should be noted that when 'it' happened to them, it was better, worse, more devastating, or more life changing that it was for you. One-up-manship is a necessity.

The Filler: This person has a speaking habit (myself is included in this group) that involves a phrase or word that is used to cover the gaps in their sentences. Examples include- um, well, you know, like, so, sorta, ya see, and then, etc. Common malady of professors and teachers.

The Glamor Queen: She always looks perfect. Bonus points if she is one of those nice people that you just can't hate, as much as you wish you could...

The Honey Pot: This person has the gift of proximity. People just want to be around them. Can attract nice people, or not nice people, but they will interact with them all the same.

Dear Abby: Male or female. The one who attracts everyone and their problems. People may or may not need/want/follow the advice they are given, but Dear Abby is a patient soul, and is willing to listen to the fallout from whatever decision is made.

The Hand-Off: Always in the midst of a crisis, but it's never their fault. It's always the people around them. They will probably tell you everything, and REALLY hope that you are going to try to fix it, and then they'll want to know what's taking so long...

Celebrity?

   Every time I turn around, I hear about some VIP that has fallen off the wagon, literally or figuratively speaking... What is with our obsession with certain people (i.e. celebrities?) We follow their every step. We imitate them. We creepily stalk every publicity release, certified or not. We speculate on their romantic status. We pitch fits if they gain weight, or lose it. We put them WAY up high on a pedestal, and then try to knock them down. And then we get indignant if they (SURPRISE) turn out to be human.
   What is so special? (Aside from the money, and public persona of course...) Nothing that I can think of. I think that it is solely the fact that they are very publicly "accessible," or at least parts of their lives are. We, the general public, get glimpses of a way of life that is completely unattainable to us, though we may try mightily to make it not so... Perhaps we're living vicariously through them. The average person cannot afford to spend several grand on a fashion accessory...(watch, purse, shoes, pair of jeans, etc.) We get some excitement through seeing these beautiful things that we will never have in our possession, but we get to see them.That's enough for a bit.
    We also look to them to guide our life directions. We either want to be famous, or use them as a kind of crystal ball to tell us where to go, what to wear, eat, and say. They tell us what is cool, and what isn't. Quite a few people want to be famous... why? I don't know. For heaven's sake, why can't they live their own lives, and we live our own? Are we incapable of paying attention to our own selves, and letting other people do the same? Celebrities have to constantly be aware of how people are seeing them. How annoying...