Thursday, July 19, 2012

Rules for Staying Classy Online Part I

1. Don't post anything that you wouldn't say to someone's face.
    -The luxury of disconnect has damaged our ability to gracefully have a disagreement with someone. The fact that we don't see our foe on the other end of the discussion opens all kinds of doors for us to say things that we may, or may not, really mean, in a really nasty way. The internet allows us to have a sense on anonymity, which can foster lots of negative comments, but even in forums where people are identified by their real names, mudslinging and passive aggressiveness runs rampant. Just because you're typing it does not give you an excuse to have bad manners.

2. Don't use the internet to passive-aggressively call someone out (or text message, or twitter, etc.)
    -This ties into number one. If you don't have the guts to call someone out in person, not in public, but in an actual conversation, you don't have any right to make it a public affair. Try: "Hey Elly, when you said___________ last week, it made me feel like you didn't care about my opinion because_________." Not: *status update* "Some people in this world should keep their mouths shut because no one wants to hear your opinion when you don't value others'!" Yep. That's subtle. Extra points to you if you are friends with the person you're directing the statement at. (You get 2 extra points for how uncomfortable everyone is at reading your post) The discomfort stems from some people knowing which mutual friend you are targeting. Bonus: Elly may not even know that you are talking about her, and the wrong person could take up the cause (i.e. they think you're talking about them, their mother, their little brother, etc.) Good luck getting out of that mess...

3. Your profile is not your diary
    -Contrary to what you think, we don't really want to know what you had for breakfast, what your boyfriend wore to dinner (and why you're mad about it,) or why your parents suck. Granted this sounds like complete teenage angst, but this applies to all age groups. Adults posting pictures of the number of beer bottles on their table, announcing that they have "the most ungrateful children/friends/family," or how their last meal affected their digestion is just as bad. I'm exaggerating a bit, but you get the idea. A person should maintain an aspect of themselves in mystery. Problem: we like to talk about ourselves, and we have a captive and waiting audience. We must share everything. Be courteous about what and how much you post. It is very possible that some people are uncomfortable with how personal some of your posts are.

4. People aren't waiting with bated breath for you to update your profile.
   - The whole world does not revolve around you. We don't actually care. Sorry.

5. Nasty comments have a way of coming back to haunt you.
    -People aren't terribly forgiving when they can go back and read the conversation that ticked them off in the first place. Now we have a word for word transcript online. Instead of going: "I was so mad an Janet. What was that about?" We remember we are mad at Janet, go read the conversation, and get mad all over again. We as humans say stupid stuff. I don't want to know how many relationships have been irreparably broken because now we can relive our friend's and acquaintances moments of stupidity. We expect people to extend us some grace in our actions, so the least we can do is extend it to those around us.

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