Romance(?) novels. Oh what have I done with my time...?

   So I've been reading romance novels. Don't judge me. The main thing I have taken away from them, aside from a cornucopia of atrociously awful adjectives, poorly used, over-used, or incorrectly used, is how every single one is the same, especially if we are talking about the historical romance. 

-Woman is spunky (or charming, innocent, well mannered/poorly mannered, chaste, insecure, a pawn in some game, smarter than she should be, or she has a plan; she may be any combination of the above characteristics.)
-Man is dark and brooding... why do you want your man to brood anyway? (or he's damaged in some way, but above all else, he is noble. He may be a brute, but he's a noble brute.)
-Man meets woman and is stunned by her beauty (We begin to hear about loins and much arrested passion here. Man knows he must not touch woman, but she's so enticing, or her hair or something else...) 
-Woman is pissed off by something about man. He represents something she doesn't like. Here we see many a sharp conversation between the two. Man is intrigued by the woman with the sassy tongue who knows her mind. (Oh my word, she has a brain people!)
-Insert much internal conflict HERE!!!
-Man and woman kiss! Oh my word! PASSION!!!! Brains explode, and chests start heaving. All of a sudden one or both "come(s) to their senses" and pushes the other away! "We shouldn't be doing this!"
-Much regret on both sides, but can either one stop thinking about that kiss? No....
-Yada yada yada things get complicated.
-They decide they're going to be together, or they're forced to get married, or he decides she's his bride, or something.
-More heaving chests.
-The main conflict arrives and is solved with much drama!
-Story ends with man and woman being very happy they are together. FOREVER. 
~The End~

   Into this general plot we can interchange family troubles, clan troubles, murder, intrigue, power struggles between every single character, angst, war, conflict of interests (bonus if it's man and woman,) death, and someone who has it out for one or both of the main characters.

Thus ends my study on romance novels. I should write a book...

What is happening to formals???

   I really hope whoever said "less is more" wasn't thinking about formal dresses. I suppose literally, yes it's true here. Less fabric = more skin. They're everywhere, and that's part of what makes it so difficult. You can't find a dress that is longer than mid-thigh if you're lucky. These dresses are uncomfortable. You can barely move for fear of exposing all your secrets to the world. Busting moves is not an option. They're itchy, not made for women with curves (no bra, really?) and they cost an arm and a leg, give or take a toe. Glitter is on most of them. This glitter will get everywhere. Ironic they call it the herpes of craft supplies... Oh yes and another thing, if the dress has any poofy stuff, short or long, going to the ladies room is going to be an adventure that is completely inconvenient.
   Thankfully, I'm past that stage, but I can't help but feel sorry for the girls that have a dress code (either self-imposed, or by higher powers) and 95% of the options out there will not fit it. Bonus points for the ugly sack dresses that are much more covering, and OH so much more ugly... I don't understand at all, and I despair for the fashion industry. I think it's gonna get worse... Dang it.