Compliments

   I have decided that there should be more random compliments in the world. People are insecure in most of their social interactions (however well they may mask it,) and I'd like to think that random compliments could help to change that. All we hear about at work, in the media, and among friends is what we're doing wrong. We seldom hear an "attaboy" at work, unless we go above and beyond the call of duty, and the person who benefits takes it upon themselves to tell your superiors how awsome you are. Give a compliment, or a statement of gratitude to someone. Be sincere, but take the extra 30 seconds. We spend too much time running from place to place, and not stopping to think about the people we run past. You never know what the ripple effect might be, but why not compliment someone on their shoes? If nothing else, you just made their next 15 seconds, or potentially their entire morning commute.

   How are you supposed to assume that the words "thank you" adequately express your gratitude to someone who changed you forever? Someone who was able to heal your soul in places you didn't know you were wounded. Someone whose caring set you free to look for love in the next leg of your journey. Someone who taught you to trust yourself and others again. Someone who made your sense of self clearer. Someone who told you you had a beautiful soul. Someone who was there. And after the fact, after life pushed you apart, someone who taught you to forgive; that the precious memories you have with that person don't have to bring pain, hurt, or anger. They can make you smile. Still. 
   Unfortunately, I don't think I will ever hear from the person who did this for me, and I hold no delusion that they will ever read this. I hope that when they think of me, they smile, and pray that I am well. I am, but they will never know how much of a part they played in that.
   If by some strange twist, you do read this, even though it doesn't even begin to encompass it, Thank you.

Learn to Laugh

   Life is funny, and very warped. The sooner you can figure that out, the better off you're gonna be. This doesn't mean that you laugh at inappropriate times, or that you point out absurd humor at inopportune moments. It just means that if you don't take everything so seriously, life is going to be a lot less annoying.
   Try looking for the humor in stuff. Seriously. There are a lot of entertaining things in daily life. Try to find at least one per day be it something someone said, a sign, a strange coincidence that no TV writing team could concoct. You don't have to share this with anyone. It's solely for your entertainment. 
   Learning to laugh especially applies to being directed at yourself. I am convinced that most people have no idea how funny they are. I was walking around with a box of mac and cheese in my hand today, and trying to text my sister at the same time. I vocalized how complicated this really was. A random person suggested (with a raised eyebrow) that I put the box in my bag. I felt like a moron, but after I got past that, I found it really funny. We all have moments like that, and if we could get past the embarrassment, and go to the funny part, it wouldn't be such a travesty when we do something dumb. Doing dumb things is inevitable, but how we respond is completely under our control.

Would it Kill You to Say "Thank You?"

One of my biggest pet peeves: People who don't say thank you.

   Now this has always been something that stands on my last nerve, but since joining the customer service branch, it has become clear how much this really bothers me. Let me be honest, I don't mind jumping through hoops, and cutting through red tape for someone. It's my job, but if I spend two hours working only on your problem, and ignoring the other 18 things that are waiting for my attention because I want to make sure you are happy, can't you say thank you? I don't expect a large box of chocolates, or even a small one for that matter, I just like to be acknowledged.

   Along this same line, if someone says "thank you! I really appreciate it." My entire day (which could have been like walking through the wastelands up to that point) changes. I want to work harder. I feel like I actually did something useful. Sometimes jobs just feel like you're treading water, and a moment like that makes you realize that you do have a purpose. Needy? Maybe a bit. It makes you consider how much power a simple phrase has though. 

   I've always tried to say "thank you" to people that I come in contact with (someone held the door for me, helped me pick up my dropped change, answered my question, etc.) but since I've noticed how much it bothers me when people don't thank me, I've started making an extra effort. This especially applies to people that are working in customer service when I'm the customer. 
~Things to try to remember:~
1. Try to get their name, and thank them by it. If you forget, ask. They probably won't mind telling you.
2. Smile. They can hear it.
3. Tell them when you're pleased with something. Most of the time all they hear is the negative.
4. Devote as much of your attention to what you're doing as possible. It's very hard to get everything to go right if you are driving, and talking to your friends, and complaining to the person on the phone that your credit card is overdrawn.

   In daily life, it's as simple as just acknowledging the work that someone has done. This includes significant others, family members, friends, and the barista who made your coffee. I think part of the reason we get bent out of shape when things take a bit longer than we would like is that it is a rude reminder that the world does not, in fact, revolve around us. Shocker.

How to Keep it Together at Your Job (Pt. II)

It's Okay to Ask for Clarification:

   If your understanding of something is muddy, ask for an explanation. It's better to do that and then do it right, than find out later and have to redo it and/or do damage control. I hate damage control.

Limit How Much of Your Personal Life You Share:

   If you limit your personal information spouting (and I am very guilty of the opposite of this) some may accuse you of being snobby, unfriendly, or just plain mean. Despite that, you don't owe anyone an explanation or information about your personal life. Depending of the type of information, it could be used against you someday (very conspiracy minded, I know.) On the more likely side, there are just certain people that you don't want to know that much about your home life. A little mystery is good.

Follow the Dress Code:

   'Nuff said.

Keep the Lines of Communication Open:

   This goes for co-workers, and to the higher-ups (or lower-downs as the case may be.) Know the power structure, and who you need to go to if something happens. If there is a policy that needs to be changed, make sure that the need is known. Most of the problems that I run into at work, and daily life, would never have happened if people would actually talk with each other. Stay updated, even if you have to jump through some hoops. It won't hurt you, and it may save your job.

 

Take Initiantive:
   If something has to be done, do it. Don't wait around for someone else to because it will never get done. Ever. No, it doesn't have to become a part of your job, but if there is coffee spilled on the counter, wipe it up. It will take all of 30 seconds, and make sure that you don't accidentally set your elbow in it. Benefit for the office; benefit for you! This is called a win-win... Not everyone takes this approach, but if they did, jobs would be much more pleasant.

Be Genuine:
   Nothing is more annoying than having someone be false to your face. Don't pretend to be something you're not. It's tiring, and irritating for everyone around you. +5 points for each person that you accidentally let the charade slip in front of. They may just think you're off your rocker though. Cool.

Keep Boundaries:
   It is your life. You are not obligated to cross boundaries to things that conflict with your morals, or personal views. This goes for professional and personal interactions at your workplace. If people don't respect your boundaries, tough cheese for them. As long as your boundaries are set up for you, and not just to tick people off, they just have to be okay with it. If your job requires you to keep your boundaries on a sliding scale, it's time for a new job.

Keep You Resume Updated:
   You never know when someone may ask for it. You also never know when you may be out of a job. Always be prepared, like the Boy Scouts!

Always Take a Breath:

   Co-workers are annoying. Bosses, and customers can be too. Take a breath before you answer. Use that pause to calm yourself. You might save yourself more than you think you might think.

The Emoticon

   Perhaps I am alone in this, but I truly find emoticons to be strange things. There are so many variations of a single "emotion" that it honestly staggers my mind. I suppose we could make the argument that they stand in for the visual cues that we depend on while communicating in person. Along that same line, we could say the variety simply personalizes the responses. Mmmmmm, not really. I don't see how the variations in smiley faces can even begin to replace actual facial cues. 
Normal :) With a nose :-) Other direction (: Make them think (-: Give the face character :^)
[*It should be noted that these are just a few of the actual smiley faces that are typical*] 
   Yeah, that really doesn't do it for me. The second set takes me a little longer to comprehend, and actually annoys me a bit; ditto for the other variations of the face. The thought of "Why can you just type it like everyone else????" does actually cross my mind, irrational though it may be.

   There is such a process that we go through that we don't even think about to add a face. The questions that we must ask ourselves: Nose or no nose? Is this face flirting? Which way should it face? Am I serious? Surprised? Do I want the face to actually match my true feeling? Will I offend this person if I stick my tongue out at them? Is the mouth curved or angular? Do I have an actual response, or is the face the response? and WHO'S THE GENIUS/IDIOT WHO THOUGHT OF THIS? (The version of the last one depends on how your communication has been going...)

   They, and other little symbols that you can make thanks to facebook chat (a penguin, shark, or robot to name a few,) are fillers. We use them to fill gaps in conversations. We try to use them to soften text messages that didn't get typed right. We also use them in attempts to clarify the spirit in which the message is/was given. I think they've become a lot like using LOL. It's another communication adaptation gone awry, by becoming insincere and meaningless in most contexts.

Does all of this really mean the emoticon is just a bastardization of facial cues? How uplifting... ;)